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“BEING ALONE DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE LONELY”

I am the only person who stays in my home for more than a year. Am I alone, lonely? Does being alone mean lonely? Do you think loneliness harms individual wellbeing? Do you perceive yourself to be alone or lonely?


Many of us perceive aloneness as a negative state of wellbeing. Individuals alone often carrying a social stigma and isolation in society. The perceived sense of aloneness seems to mean that being by one’s self is not harmful. It is a choice you make, but rather an imposed state where a person is not socially engaged in the expected. People perceive that there is something actually wrong with a person who remains alone.


Loneliness refers to an individual looking for someone and something always. You feel you need someone always to feel you are secure and happy. Loneliness may be a condition where your own company is not enough for the individual intrinsic happiness. Spending time with your own self may result in developing conditions like anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. The solution to getting rid of fear is to make sure that you are always with another individual and not being alone.


Although aloneness and loneliness are often thought to be the same, they are not equal. Learning to be alone may be scary initially, but practised once and mastered, it serves as the step for your development and growth as a human being. It helps to develop your own inner voice and which leads to your own guidance.


Being alone makes you independent and away from “social guard,” which tends to be introspective and think for yourself. This aloneness leads you to make better choices and decisions about yourself without outside influence. We are influenced by the thoughts, feelings, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviour of the immediate environment. You may tend to consult yourself in making up your own mind about what you want to do. It will lead you into life which is best for you.


Learning to stay alone may serve you well in knowing what you need and want in a relationship and life. If you’re too afraid to stay alone and function on your own, you’ll be selling yourself out, ensuring that you’re never staying or being alone in your life. This will lead to a negative healthy relationship with others. You are not learned to have a healthy relationship with yourself.


Loneliness: Loneliness is meant to be an awful experience where individual social relationships are considered to be lower than expected. People can stay alone without feeling lonely. They can feel lonely even in the presence of others. Loneliness leads to mental health concerns involving depression and low social support. It may also lead to neuroticism and introversion. Aloneness is not associated with psychological distress. Loneliness may have risk factors for both mental and physical wellbeing and thus lead to a shorter life span in the individual


Causes of Loneliness: Factors causing loneliness are physical isolation, moving to a new location, and divorce. The death of someone in a person’s life can also lead to feelings of loneliness. It is a symptom of a psychological disorder such as depression. Loneliness can also be attributed to lower self-esteem. People who lack confidence lead to isolation and chronic loneliness.


The difference between loneliness and aloneness


We must be aware of the difference between loneliness and aloneness. Most of us have a feeling of loneliness. For instance, you may be in a crowd or with your family in a social situation. You may establish a sudden sense of isolation. Suddenly, you cut off from everything, having no relationship with anything. That isolation leads to a state of fear. Loneliness is entirely different from being alone. Aloneness is complete independence from the known—loneliness results from the influencing factor. Unlike loneliness, aloneness is not the result of any influencing factor.

Here are some ways to prevent your feeling of loneliness:

  • Involve in the community service or another activity that you enjoy in your life

  • Expect the best in a relationship

  • Focus on the development of quality relationships that are similar to you in life.

  • Have in your mind that loneliness is a sign that needs to be changed.

  • Be aware of the effects of loneliness, both physical and mental, on your life

Let us know what you can do or what you do to curb or deal with loneliness. You can also let us know what being alone means to you.

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