Let me start off this article with an anecdote. During my internship, I tried to look for guidance from experts in the industry. Indeed they guide me, but, to an extent. I understand that everyone is busy, and hence we need to figure out our way. I learned, unlearned, relearned. Then again, I strive for validation about my work and my approach. Not so startling. Everyone had a different perspective and opinion. Every time I asked for guidance, I got confused. The reason, I asked multiple people the same question. Then I realized I need to follow one guide. Subsequently, I approached a guide. And again, I failed. Cause my reason for the approach was fallacious. I was not clear about what I want. Maybe guidance, maybe validation, or maybe appreciation. The same error I made in every aspect of life. For instance, I was dependent on my seniors to guide me in my work, my family members to guide me in finance, etc.
I learned that I'm the teacher and I'm the student as well! I can learn and then guide myself in all aspects, at least at times. Indeed, we require someone to guide us, but when? and will they help us? I still take guidance but after contemplating on a few points.
Below are the questions to ask yourself before approaching for guidance:
Am I clear? I have seen this thing with many people, including me! Either we don't look for experts, or we just rush without the actual knowledge about our doubt. Be clear. Be clear about what you want? By when? Especially youngsters get confused with what they want. Ask yourself, what you want? Health, wealth, name, fame, recognition, respect, career, work, passion, peace, or ALL! Once you are cleared, then you can seek the right guidance from the right experts! You know what you want, and hence you'll be approaching the expert from that field.
Did I give my 100%? I have tried and everything to learn or to guide myself but not able to do my best. If I have given my 100% with the knowledge I have, this means this is the time to ask for guidance. Don't jump for a mentor till the time you feel you haven't given your 100%. Sometimes, it can also happen that you don't know about a certain thing and which is also not available online. At that time, you require a mentor. And that is FINE! Before approaching anyone, just ask did I gave my 100%. If the answer comes yes, then go ahead.
Do I have any time limit? At times, this may happen that you haven't given your 100%, but you need the guidance immediately. The reason could be a time limit. For instance, if you are preparing for an exam and you know you can learn everything yourself, you need time. However, the exam is near, and you can't learn everything independently in the given time frame. At that time you can take help. You can take guidance from a mentor. You know they are experts, and they can help you to achieve your aim.
Is my mentor the right person? This was my second mistake where I took advice about things from people who don't know much about the topic. For instance, I seek guidance for financial management with my friends/family members/relatives, and they gave me advice as anyone and, I fell. Because they are not experts. They can tell you what they know but can't tell you what THE BEST or at least best to an extent is. I realize if you want guidance, take it from professionals. They are professional for a reason. When we feel sick, we know that we would be fine with some remedies. But, when the sickness grows, we rush to the doctor, knowing he is the expert in this. The same is with every other aspect of life. If you feel that the problem is minor and can be solved on your own, then go ahead with it, and if you feel that nothing is working out, please ask the experts. Don't keep on asking your elders and then keep failing with the same mistakes. Ask the experts for good results. Or, if you feel that the elder is not professional but is an expert in that area, you can seek help.
Now, we have understood when we need to seek guidance. But, still, I will tell you the benefits of being your own guide. Once you are aware of the benefits, you will love being your own guide. I'm sharing a few points so you'll be able to resonate with the benefits.
The advantages of being your own guide!
You know the technique that will suit you: Till today, you have approached a few guides. But, you are the one with yourself from the beginning of your life. Hence, you have learned enough about yourself. You know what the ways to make you learn are. For instance, if you are trying to develop a new fitness habit, write down what doesn't work for you before you approach an expert. In which technique you fell. You know what doesn't work for you, and hence you did be approaching a new way rather than repeating the same mistake if it comes from an expert. And if you don't know your learning and adapting style, then start this from now. Be aware of which technique suits you.
You trust yourself: I have read it somewhere. If you want the work to be the best, then do it on your own. Means you can trust yourself completely. Though we make mistakes, we don't make the same ones. We know what hasn't worked out previously, and so our approach is always fresh. Once we are into doing important things on our own, we will start trusting our decisions and ways. In these years, we have surely gained our trust, and hence we are the most reliable person, at least to some extent and in some part. So, trust yourself, do such things that will just grow the bonding between the teacher and the student in you!
You own your decisions: You require a mentor at times in different aspects of life. You can take guidance from several people, but the decision would be yours and so as consequences. We own our decisions, their pros and cons as well! So, if you are going to decide on your own, why not be sure about the decision. So, before taking any decision, understand that you are responsible for it. Make sure you give your best! If the result doesn't come out as per your planning or expectation, you will still be proud that you tried your best instead of dependent on others!
You are always available for yourself: Imagine someone is always available for yourself. To hear you, understand your difficulty, and guide you. Sounds Great! It's indeed a bit difficult, but not impossible. You can be your greatest mentor at times because you are always there for yourself. You can hear you, understands you, and CAN guide yourself. You are going to stay with yourself for the rest of your life. So, why not to make our self, the best teacher and the student. We know that even if we are not available 24*7, how can we expect others to guide us ALWAYS! We are always there for ourselves. Make sure you build the trust between the teacher and the student in you!
Guiding yourself is as significant as loving yourself. If you haven't started both, then START NOW!
What are your thoughts on being your own guide? Comment down below.