You must have heard this, just one day live your life without regret and complaint and see the magic! As we are HUMANS, and we do have emotions, feelings, thoughts along with other emotions. It's alright to feel different emotions occasionally. But, once we tend to acknowledge that we've felt something unhealthy, we had to overcome it. Today, I am aiming to name one of the big emotions: regret and complaint. I have realized that we tend to feel this each issue due to mistakes. We regret our own mistakes and complain about other's mistakes. The reason for its arousing comes from expectations. We have certain expectations from ourselves, and when we cannot complete them, we regret them. And the same happens in the case of others. If others don't go our way, we tend to complain. Both feelings are not something to be in touch with. I will write down the reasons and the process to overcome these both.
Let's get started...
Regret: We do have our regrets. We, at times in our life, have regretted something. As I told you, we have certain expectations from ourselves, and if we can't meet them, we crammed with guilt. And that guilt triggers regret. We regret our mistakes without even noticing that HUMANS are allowed to try and make mistakes. It's alright to make errors occasionally. But, the same errors shouldn't be repeated beyond 2 times.
Additionally, there is a distinction between an error and a felony. It's alright to make a mistake but be aware of a felony. Learning from mistakes is more significant than regretting over them.
Complaint: This arises with either expectation or comparison. We have certain expectations with others and situations. If they don't go our way, we make complaints. Moreover, at times we compare ourselves and our lives with others. And then, the complaints arise. Complaints can arise for both types of comparison. Either we collate our lives and feel that we don't have what we deserve. Or sometimes, we also feel that we don't deserve what we have. We are not good enough to have these blessings. However, learn that you are where exactly you need to be. Nothing is more or less. It's perfect.
I have few things to share with you all. Perhaps you found something that works for you.
Write down your feeling and cry on them: Believe me, once you write down all of your complaints and regrets and take a look at them to cry on, you can't. Since you'll notice several of them can't even make you cry. And you'll feel funny or weird to cry on that. You'll notice how little was that issue to do regret or complaint. And if you can cry on that, then cry as many times as you feel it. Many of us say that once you cry on something, get on the feet and never look back. This works occasionally. But, recently, I found that if we cry on something 2-3 times, we don't feel like crying at the 4th time. Because all the guilt has been released from the eyes in the form of tears. The thought can still come to your mind but not the feelings. You won't feel that feeling anymore.
Accept it: before and after it occurs: Accepting the events, situation, own self is vital. We have understood to accept the whole past wholeheartedly. And now we are required to accept our future as well. Accept that not everything will go as you plan. Not every event will happen as per your planning. And that is okay. It teaches us how something gets stray off. And here we learn how to do impeccable planning. A similar goes with others as well. If you found that you have a clear expectation with somebody relating to something and it does not ensue as you expected, accept it.
Be ignorant at times: Once you have accepted everything (your past and future), you will not get bothered about these both. And hence, you will live in the present moment. In addition, we do face something that neither can be changed nor can be accepted. At that time, leave it. Not everything is in our hands and not everything we can accept. This is the best time to show how ignorant we can be. Use the ignorant power to overcome a situation, people, things, events, and so on. You will find some people who annoy you. Neither you can change them, nor you can accept them. At that time, just ignore them.
Identify the positive side: Recently, I have tried this style, and it works like magic. I had read earlier that once you start admiring a person, you will start seeing everything good in that person. Once you start hating a person, you will find everything irritating. Additionally, there comes a time when you need to be with someone who is infuriating, but you have to be with them. For instance, you have to work with an irritating colleague, and you can't do anything about them. So, firstly be neutral. Delete all your previous thoughts and feelings and start noticing their positive side. You will find that they do have something to be appreciated. This implies in the situations as well. Sometimes, things don't go as per our expectations. Then we feel sad, but if you start observing, you will find that there is still something to appreciate about the event.
5x5 rule: We all know this rule that if you came across an issue take a moment to think whether or not it will matter in 5 years. If it won't, don't spend more than 5 minutes stressing out about it. I have customized it a bit, that if it won't matter in 5 days, then don't give it more than 5 seconds. Precisely, not the second thought. For instance, If I missed my train, I will not regret it. I know that next time I need to be early. And so, this is how I cut down by more than half of the strain. Think from life's point of view. Do you feel that at the end of the time these small things we are even going to remember, probably not? So, if this has nothing to do with our life's purpose or life itself, then why bother.
Be self-contented: This is one of all my latest realizations. Once I am through with my work and am glad about my productivity, I feel less anger, regret, and complaints. Or, to be specific, I don't feel them. Since I'm pleased with my work, I will help others to facilitate their work. This means that if I'm content with myself, I will not complain.
Additionally, I will not regret my past mistake. For instance, if I feel that I have not been productive enough from the past 2 days, I work extra to cover up those 2 days on the third day. I will be much relaxed and okay with everything. I will not even think about those 2 days. Instead, I will feel proud about the 3rd day. I'll be abundant relaxed and happy with everything. If you are productive enough and content with yourself, you will do less regret and complain, perhaps not at all.
Lead your life: One thing I have observed about leaders is that they always lead their life. They never compare their life or situation with others. They accept it and then lead it. I believe that leaders are not only those who lead a project, organization, family, or followers. Leaders are someone who leads their own life. And once you start leading your own life, you will be proud of yourself despite anything and everything. As we know, do your best and forgets the rest. Lead your own life. Don't try to lead your family's life, partner's life, or any junior's life. Just lead your life, and you never know whom you inspire in which way. Hence, keep directing your life. Be the director of your life.
It's okay to have these feelings at times but remember not to give them the power to conquer on you, instead conquer on them.
I hope you have found something to resonate. And I would be glad if this had helped even a little bit.
Here is a task. Write down something you regretted and complained about earlier, but now you have conquered it.