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Overthinking or Feeding Your Self-Worth?

It wasn't until I told one of my friends- Don't call him that I realized how low we humans keep ourselves on self-worth. With that, there is always this correlation to overthinking that goes hand in hand in most scenarios- like she was in a fix of this brief rumination of "Should I call him?" or "Or not..."

First, let's begin with overthinking

Overthinking is when you dwell on the same thought repeatedly in a loop. Individuals who overthink get paralyzed by their worries and may struggle to make decisions or take action. Overthinking can be caused by — and can contribute to — depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. Overthinking causes stress, and the repetition of thinking about the same thought/scenario or anything of occurrence makes it hard for the person to move on.

Low self-esteem is a significant instigator of overthinking. When one has low-self esteem, it builds on not being capable of a task being assigned and doubting their capabilities/skills. It may also lead to depleting their worth, in this case, a.k.a self-worth. Why is there a correlation? A person who has low self-esteem, in simple terms, just means lacks the confidence in who they are and their capabilities. When a person starts experiencing it on a scale of 1-10 (1 being lowest,10 being highest), in the beginning, it may be a 1, so they may not take it seriously. But as the days go by, they get concerned about how the public perceives them, whether their friends like it or not, do their family loves them in reality or is it all a lie? Now, this is what an overthinker's troubled mind sound's like? Of course, we do overthink from time to time. Still, when it can turn into PTSD, depression, anxiety, and other mental disorder- it's something to be looked through rather than over.

Remember how I had mentioned brief rumination. It can be best described as repetitive thoughts of a problem or situation. Now, this can be of the past or future. A project presentation in 2 weeks and a test would be future situations. These might not necessarily come under the problematic area but make the person anxious or fearful of the outcome. Whereas if one dwells on fights from childhood memories or relives a heartbreaking conversation, then those would come under the problematic area because these trigger various other emotions and feelings, which could lead to mood swings and much more. The past events necessarily do not need to be heavy emotion-filled- it could be a happy memory spent with peace of mind or a meaningful conversation being relieved.

Worry instigates overthinking

Another common instigator is worry. This constant worry could be of anything. A failure, an embarrassing incident, etc... and this makes them fear how these past occurrences could occur in the future(The "What if?" question), leading to anxiety and stress. Anxiety and stress are the top two most common traits one would find under overthinking.

Intrusive thoughts are another trait one should keep an eye out for, and these are those thoughts can come into our heads at any time. The catch- is no warning. They are disturbing and can be distressing for some as well. Please note these are repetitive.

Insecurity leads to overthinking

Most of the time, one compares themselves for fun or competitive advantage at their workplace, school, college, etc. But once this becomes a subconscious and the person degrades themselves for not summing up to that person's capabilities- it creates insecurities. This creates low self-worth as well. This is due to the lack of certainty one holds for themselves.

Most people who possess the trait of low self-worth eventually become people-pleasers. When one is willing to offer any amount of help to anybody and doesn't contribute to themselves- they become a people pleaser. Ignoring their needs creates low self-esteem, leading to various mental disorders(depression, anxiety, etc.). The reason they would have low self-worth is only that they do not prioritize themselves.

For those in abusive relationships

Is it worth it when one has a partner who does not value their time, needs, wants, and importance? "Estimates published by WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (30%) of women worldwide have been subjected to either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime. Most of this violence is intimate partner violence." This was given out on 9 March 2021. A partner that one chooses in their lifetime should be someone who cherishes them for life(both ways). Now when there are obvious signs of the other one not being worthy of that title for one's life- whether it was when you found the first hint of them cheating on you or when it was the first time they physically assaulted you. Your self-worth should be your number one priority regardless of the outcome. If something toxic was worth the overthinking and diminishing of one's soul, body, and mind(your self-worth)- it isn't worth it.

Lack of self-awareness leads to losing touch with your self-worth

When you are self-aware- you create the ability to align with yourself, not paying attention to superficial standards. Whether these standards were set by you or the society or your amazing fake friends- it doesn't matter. This will take a healthier path when you opt to see the differences between your beliefs VS your environment (family, friends, etc.). Do they align? Do they make you happy, or are you living a facade? Once you start asking yourself these questions- you will discover a part of your self-awareness.

How is it related to self-worth?

When a person isn't aware of what goes on in their soul, body, and mind due to low-self esteem, self-doubt, and so on...the person most probably has to dig deep to fix themselves. What better place to improve than your self-awareness trait?

Setting a low bar

Standards and boundaries: These are critical, not just in romantic relationships. Learn to keep boundaries and standards in your friendships and the partners you date. These people should help you grow as a person, not make you feel worse. Cut off fake friends, date people who do not come under the toxic/abusive category, etc. Boundaries are when if someone brings your self-esteem down- you know they're toxic. Standards are for who is worth the title, such as a friend, partner, etc.

How is it related to self-worth?

Very high standards seem bizarre and unreasonable. But having a bar so low that you start feeling worse day after day is not the bargain anyone should get. When a person thinks lowly of themselves, prioritizing their own needs is taboo to them. It becomes unheard of, which is why their self-worth diminishes.

Admitting and rectifying flaws

Acknowledge your flaws: Nobody is perfect, and there is no reason to be harsh on yourself for having those imperfections. When one can acknowledge their flaws within themselves, they raise self-awareness by rectifying those flaws, which instigates an area for improvement in many areas of life. It would build self-esteem, decrease self-doubt and contribute in various other ways.

How is it related to self-worth?

Your flaws pull you down by degrading your capabilities and so on. Hence, acknowledging them and rectifying them would help me evolve into a better person.

Most people who undergo overthinking and self-worth issues want to achieve only one antidote from their absolute misery. Peace of mind. We all are in the same boat, and we all want peace of mind. You are not alone.

Hence reach out to your family, friends, or close ones for help when facing such issues. In severe cases, seek medical assistance immediately.

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