Have you ever wondered how your sense of humour is? Okay, let's not talk about your sense of humour but let's talk about humour. If we watch comedy shows, they clearly crack jokes making someone feel inferior. It forces people to notice their flaws. Have you ever wonder what does body shaming looks like. I mean, very casually, people say, 'You're a bit fat, why don't you lose weight to look much prettier.' They don't understand that the person may not receive the compliment, but they will surely believe they are fat. Also, people say, 'Hey, you're very thin, you don't eat anything, or you just live on the air.' Like seriously? You have so much time to discuss other's weight and about their diet?
Understand that your single statement can make someone feel conscious about themselves. Individuals know what BMI is and how much weight they need to put on or lose. So, don't give your knowledge where it is not required. You feel that it's just a joke, but, no, it's not a joke. It's someone's body, and you are creating misconception towards their body. You are creating hurdles in their growth. Want to know how? Let's check it...
What happens when you laugh at someone?
They feel left out and hurt: When you involve the second person to laugh at a third person, they feel left out and exclusive. They get hurt. They might not tell you, might be they show you, are okay, but they are not. Hardly people are secure about themselves, and they will take it as a joke only. But, most people feel sad, and sometimes those 2 mins laugh may take a toll on them. They start comparing themselves with others and especially with their flaws. They don't understand that they are different and good at something else. They start believing that if a community doesn't accept them, they will never be accepted. (Though I feel that someone should never seek acceptance.)
They feel inferior: I have seen people saying that he/she is a tube light that they will understand this by tomorrow. No, don't make them feel like that. Don't make them feel inferior. Sometimes they just accept this comment and stop growing, thinking they are already less than everyone else. And nothing will help them. Understand the person's mindset before trying to amuse. They might not be sure about their intelligence, and one-time amusement can stop their growth in many different parts. When you show them their 1 flaw, they will start noticing all the flaws. And they will begin to feel inferior about themselves.
They start developing anxiety and stop their growth: Once they feel left out and inferior, they will start developing anxiety towards meeting people. They will find it difficult to join any discussion and voice their opinion, though. At first, they will try to avoid and escape from these situations. And sometimes, they will develop anxiety to meet with people. Losing self-confidence is not a big thing. They will feel that I should not raise my voice or give my opinion cause people will not accept it, and they will laugh at me. Thinking this, they won't even try. And this is the worst hurdle anyone can face in their career life. Or in their public life. This is how insults (amusement for you) create hurdles in their life. This is the thin line between amusement and insult.
NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE SECURE ABOUT THEMSELVES.
If you want to crack a joke, then talk about the situation. Not about a person or their personality, as it may aggravate the situation and help take an unwanted turn. Understand your limit. Once my teacher told me that there is always a limit to your joke. Once you cross that limit, the other person gets hurt with your words. There is a very thin line between amusing and insulting, and you need to know this. So, be aware, what comes out of your mouth.
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAUGHING WITH SOMEONE AND LAUGHING AT SOMEONE.
If you want to crack a joke, then crack it on a situation or on your situation. But not on others. And once you start laughing at your situations, you will realize that life is simpler and lighter. And if you are cracking a joke on yourself, then be sure that you are comfortable and secure in your skin. Nobody's comment should bother you. And, you need to draw a certain line so that people do not target you. If you want to amuse yourself, just remember your few situations. You must be having so many stories which turned from tragedy to comedy. Any situation you feel would be a tragedy actually turns into comedy when you look back for most people. We take time to heal and move on from our traumatic feelings, although sometimes, these experiences may change our lives, maybe for the better or for worse. I have one story where maybe you will find amusement. Let's check out.
So here it goes...
It was a starry, breezy, and peaceful night. I, my aunt and my mother were walking on the cold ground. My mom was going near to the bay to splatter the food for fishes.
Me trying to be a very nice daughter, "Mom, give this to me. I will do it."
I reached there and granulated that dough in the bay, and while trying to come back
Me, "Wait, what?
What is it?
Oh God! (Hey Bhagwan)."
(Feeling like this is the end of my life)
"It's a SWAMP. Oh no, I'm stuck in this mire. What the hell?"
My mother, while dreading, "Saloni, what are you doing?"
Me "Mommmmmm, it's a swamp here, and I'm stuck." (My leg was stuck in by a foot)
My mom came a little forward and asked, "Come out slowly and don't try hard to pull your leg; otherwise, you will get more deep inside that mud." (Trying to solve things in a rush, sometimes causes more harm)
Me "I'm trying to move out, but couldn't. What should I do?"
(Meanwhile, my aunt was trying to find help)
Mom "Try to come out slowly, have a little patience. Don't lose your patience in difficulties.
Before taking any action, PONDER"
Me "I can't move out, and this slipper is not coming out."
Mom "Are you mad? Leave that slipper and come out."
Me thinking with tears in my eyes MY MOM LOVES ME MORE THAN THIS SLIPPER
(As she has done a degree in saving, investing and is a typical middle-class MOTHER does not waste anything)
Mom "Come out, come here, I'm waiting."
Me while dealing with this surprise, trying to come out
And then, I was like, "Yeah, I came out, I came out" (Feeling like I have won a medal)
I just went to my mother and was trying to hug her, and she was like, "wait."
And I said, "What."
She, "Look at yourself. It seems that you have done wrestling with the mud."
And me while looking at myself, "Ohhh..............no.............."
Here it ends
This was the time when I was 9 years old. We used to splatter the food in the bay, which was not the first time we went there. But, being stuck in the swamp was surely for the very first and for the LAST time. (In both ways)
And here, I got all those strengths from my MOM to overcome any difficult situation, including this one! And, Not to forget to mention that saving/investing/middle-class attitude! This was the real story with a little detail and exaggeration to make it a little funny!
My story went "FROM TRAGEDY TO COMEDY"
So, how was it? I hope it brought a smile to your face, and this is how you break the ice. You can try a shorter story to establish a connection with other people. I believe you grow more with a person when you both/all laugh TOGETHER! And for laughing, you don't need to laugh at someone, but laugh with them. You can laugh at your past mistakes, funny incidents, tragedy come comedy story, and so on...
You can bring life to your story and the learning attached to it.
I hope I had given you a brief idea about the difference between amusing and insulting.
Laugh with others and not at others!
Share your amusing story with us. Let's bring a smile to each other's face. Let's grow together!